Part 2: Learning How to Trust Myself (Again !)
I thought I was helping myself by setting unreasonable expectations for myself, because I was sure this was what propelled my success. While that may have been true, it was also the reason I felt empty, like something was not right, and lacked a true sense of joy in my life. While I experienced ups and downs like everyone else, and happiness visited me, I did not experience a sense of constant joy, which I knew was possible (at least from what I had read and heard from others!) I was hungry for more and knew that there was more to life than material success ~ I yearned for peace of mind, calm and confidence in my life.
Once I stopped telling my body what to do, and ignoring its calls for rest, food, sleep, protection and everything else I had dismissed for over a decade of my life, my body must have realized it could start talking to me again without a fear of being ignored, so it started to do just that. The whispers became more audible and eventually I could notice, moment-by-moment, what my body was feeling and needing because I became so accustomed to turning inward and listening/feeling for signs. This was ultimately the greatest milestone in my journey, as it allowed me to become more self-aware than I ever imagined was possible, which enabled me to develop a sense of confidence about how to meet my needs, because I finally knew what they were.
Coming Home: My Self-Love Journey
Although I thankfully never crashed and burned, close to my 30th birthday I remember feeling slightly unmotivated, overextended and ineffective. I remember thinking and feeling that there had to be more to life than working hard, being the best at everything and living my life the only way I knew how to and had all my life. I suppose, looking back now, that I was on the cusp of burn-out.
The Power of Language
Language is powerful. It is so very powerful. With it, we not only tell stories to others and express our desires, needs, and deepest darkest secrets, but we also tell ourselves stories about the world, and perhaps most importantly, stories about who we are and why we are the way that we are. With language we piece together the isolated snapshots that comprise our life, and create a comprehensive masterpiece—the narrative of our existence. For these reasons, language is clearly one of the most powerful tools and superpowers available to humans.
I have always been fond of language, and of communicating through the spoken and written word. But, it wasn’t until I realized, through experience and deep reflection, the formidable power of language, to change our moods, our thoughts, our behaviours and our very being, that I gave language more mindful consideration.
Just as words have the energy and power to help, heal and humble, they can also hinder, hurt, harm, and humiliate. In this article I discuss how language impacts our inner and outer worlds, and share some tips on how to help our inner critical voice become a compassionate coach instead!